There are few things in this world that hurt more then being ignored. Dissapointment is one of them. I am dissapointed. in myself, in people, in this world. Sadly I am too coward to do anything about it. This year I failed at every single thing I could. I failed to get respect of the one person i liked, i failed to get a job, so i am currently on the dole, failed to produce any results of note at all.
I really liked this guy. He was ins enior position to me, but i still liked him. I thnk he thought I wanted to sleep my way to the job, or whatever, so even though we had good communications going he soon started to ignore my emails/messages. Not just one. Many many of them, ( I was doing a projects together with him and another person - so apart from two of them they were all work related).
I am dissapointed that I could have misjudged somebody that badly. Trying to get over it. Currently neither my bf nor friends are really relating or hlping. Depression is a wicked wicked cycle.
I just feel really useless. No matter how hard I try I feel stupid, and powerless. I am mad at myself at times, in the others I am just said. When I said goodbye to this guy, lets call him Frank I try to tell him how hurt I was by the fact that he never responded, een though my intentions towards him were mostly good. I left Frank two CDs of songs I told him about, couple of my own mixes. Just really hurt, that I was so wrong.
I usually pick people apart pretty well.
